How to Use Your Shadow Self to Heal and Grow

How to Use Your Shadow Self to Heal and Grow

Have you ever had someone do something or say something that caused such negative feelings – like anger, rage, bitterness, resentment or anxiety?

For context of this article, a trigger can refer to the experience of having an emotional reaction to some type of disturbing content someone says or does.

One year ago, I registered for a local fitness bootcamp and I was so excited. After working my body to the bone, I had allowed my own self care and workouts to slip. I was running a business, homeschooling 2 kids and had a 1 year old.  I needed to get my body back in shape.

And so, guess what happened? So I felt super connected to the trainer. I loved his energy.

At first, he didn’t even want to let me into his program, for fear of me stealing his program – as my own. He admitted he had had other personal trainers join his bootcamp and go work in other gyms, stealing his program, training clients HIS WAY.

 

First of all – let’s get this out of the way.

  1. No one can be you. Even if someone steals your ideas, programs, content, they cannot duplicate you energy.
  2. There are no new ideas. His way of working out and and his way of training clients – I assure you he didn’t created it.

After a few weeks of being a paying customer, he blocked me from his Facebook. I was still going to his bootcamp and I had major convictions with this. So one of my shadows is I want to be loved by everyone.

 

The shadow is the “dark side” of our personality because it consists chiefly of primitive, negative human emotions and impulses like rage, envy, greed, selfishness, desire, and the striving for power.

I am a Leo sun. And if you don’t know about Leo’s, Leo’s love to own the spotlight. They are very creative. They’re very entrepreneurial and  they’re very generous, but they also love to get love right back. And so when I was blocked, he blocked me from his personal Facebook page, I thought – “wow, what did I do?” I’m a paying customer. And he has me blocked. So one of the things, one of the shadow parts of Leo is deep down, they want to be loved by everyone and deep, deep down they secretly don’t feel lovable at all. Alternatively, he was also a Leo and Leos have big pride, big egos and have a hard time sharing the spotlight with others.

So the reason why this trainer didn’t let me into his programs was because, previously,  I was a weight loss coach. And here I was hiring a trainer. I’m trying to lose weight myself, get my body back in shape. And he had mentioned that he had allowed several other personal trainers into his program and they copied from him. They stole his program and tried to sell it on their own. And he was afraid I was going to do the same.

So here’s the thing: that wasn’t my issue. I have never done that. He had no reason to believe that I was going to do that. However, he put his past experiences with other people onto me, and that was not my issue. That was his issue to deal with. However, anything you’re dealing with, it comes up for a reason and it’s coming up to be healed. So anything that’s triggering you, like I was triggered that this person who I valued, I valued enough to pay him; blocked me from seeing any of his personal posts, because he thought I was going to steal from him.

And that hurt my ego.

So, what can you do if you’re feeling triggered and how can you heal it?

This is your shadow self showing up.

There are certain things we associate from being good parts of our personality and we celebrate it. There are other parts of our personality that we associate with being bad, shameful and don’t want others to see (sometimes we don’t even want to admit it is there).

However, you can use your shadow self for healing. If you notice your triggers by things you’re judging people on, things you feel judged from other people, anything that pulls out anger and deep, dark emotion, shame, guilt, any of these lower vibration emotions. That’s what’s triggering you, and you want to get curious on why. Why is this triggering me? And what can I learn from it?

I love to use my astrological birth chart to help me heal my triggers. So one of the things you can do, is you can look to your opposite side across the zodiac wheel.

So I am a Leo, I’m ruled by the sun. However, the opposite sign of me is Aquarius. Leo and Aquarius are polar opposites and you can look to that sign to help embody different parts of you that you want to heal. So, if I want to heal my issue with not being liked, not being loved by everyone and really feeling unlovable, I can look to Aquarius, because what does Aquarius do? They are the rebel of the zodiac and they do not care who likes them, who doesn’t like them. And they own it. They own how they’re different. They own their uniqueness and they can own it.

So wherever you are, whatever sign you have in your chart, you have a polar opposite.

Opposite Signs:

Cancer/Capricorn
Taurus/Scorpio
Aries/Libra
Gemini/Sagittarius
Leo/Aquarius
Pisces/Virgo.

But you were made perfect as you are. There are light and dark parts of every sign, every person, every characteristic.

There will always be someone that doesn’t get you. There will always be people who don’t understand you or feel triggered by your energy.

This is there triggers and they can deal with those.

Your job is to be you and learn to heal from your own triggers.

So, I think right now in this online space, we’re still waiting on the election results in the US. A lot of people are triggered right now. A lot of people aren’t happy with, you know, maybe what someone is posting, someone is sharing their opinions and their beliefs, and that can leave us triggered, but whatever you’re feeling triggered, you can learn from it.

I put together a list of the zodiac signs and their shadow traits that may show up. Grab it here.

The Best Breakfast for Faster Weight Loss

The Best Breakfast for Faster Weight Loss

Are you wondering the best way to lose weight? Wondering what and how much you should be eating? Free customized meal plan here. Click here and take the WELLNESS PROFILE
I’ve learned a few things in the 6 years on my weight loss journey. One of those things is how important breakfast can be. Read about the Top Benefits of Breakfast  here
 
There’s different philosophies around breakfast. But most agree, it is an important meal of the day. It helps you break your fast, to help your body know that you are up and it is supposed to start burning calories again.
When you were sleeping and when you are at rest, your body is fasting, resting and restoring for the next day; it is burning much less calories than normal.
Many people skip breakfast for a lack of time, a lack of energy or to save calories. But this is the worst thing you can do if weight loss is your goal.
It has been proven that people who eat breakfast will eat less calories overall throughout the rest of the day than those who skip breakfast entirely. Why is that? When you skip a meal, a few things happen.
First, when you do actually eat, you are so hungry, you will probably be more likely to eat things you wouldn’t normally.
Second, if you are not eating enough calories in the day, your body will go into starvation mode, your body holds onto fat and you end up frustrated, with no results.
I typically tell my new clients (especially those new to losing weight and eating healthier) to eat within 30 to 60 minutes of being up, in the morning. A good breakfast will consist of protein, carbs, and healthy fats.
 In my secrets to weight loss, free e-book, I break down these macro nutrients even further. Get it here.
PROTEIN
Protein is important when it comes to weight loss. Protein in the body helps maintain muscle mass, it helps grow muscle mass, regulates blood sugar levels and it helps you keep full for a longer period of time.  If you end up hungry shortly after breakfast or feel breakfast doesn’t fill you up, you may want to add more protein rich foods.
Many popular breakfast foods are high in carbs and low in protein – ie. your coffee and donut, pancakes, waffles.
Keep reading for healthy protein pancakes. I recommend between 20 to 30 g of protein in your breakfast. Start by getting a customized meal plan here.
CARBOHYDRATES
Carbs are also important, because it is our bodies preferred way to get energy. There’s lots of different ways to get carbs: fruits, vegetables, whole grains, rice, sweet potato, quinoa are some. Download Secrets to Weight Loss for the best carbs and a grocery list.
FATS
Healthy fats help to supply the body with fatty acids and helps to absorb other nutrients, such as vitamin A, vitamin D, and vitamin E. Some examples of healthy fats are coconut oil, olive oil, or avocado. Healthy fats are also another way you can help stabilize your blood sugar levels.
Expert tip – if you are pre-diabetic, or have fluctuations in your blood sugar levels, balance your meals with a combination of protein, carbs and fats.
In my BRAND NEW mama fit pack (available for presale), we go more in depth on this balanced nutrition and how to balance out your macros, with sample menus and easy recipes.
Here are my top five GO TO breakfasts.
Veggie Omelette
I love to have an omelette with avocado broccoli and peppers. I sauté some vegetables, (use what you have available) I use onions and peppers in coconut oil and add in another  vegetable – broccoli, cauliflower, zucchini, or brussels sprouts are all great. Add 2-3 eggs or egg whites and top with a slice of avocado.
Yogurt with Fruit
Greek yogurt, with fresh fruit, granola, or nuts. Greek yogurt is higher in protein then typical yogurts, and you will get your fiber through the berries. Add in nuts or granola for some crunchy texture and more healthy fats. If you want to pump this up, even more, you can add a protein powder or meal replacement shake. Vanilla or chocolate is my favorite. Click here for my favorite.
Protein Pancakes or Waffles
This is one of my kids favorites. Who doesn’t love pancakes?!!
Do a quick google search or Pinterest for protein pancakes or protein waffles, and you will find a lot of different recipes.
My favorite ways to add protein to pancakes are to add Greek yogurt, cottage cheese or your favorite protein powder.

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Egg Frittata or Egg Cups
A little similar to the omelette, however this is something you can make in bulk or even make it the night before. If breakfast is always a rush for you or you don’t always have time to make breakfast, you can make this the night before. It’s so simple and so easy to make. Start by sautéing your vegetables – onions, peppers, whatever vegetables you want and bake it in an egg casserole. This also makes a great snack and the kids love it. Read about 10 Make Ahead Breakfasts
Meal Replacement Shakes
If breakfast is not really your thing, you don’t like to eat breakfast, you don’t like to make breakfast or you find yourself struggling with time in the morning, meal replacement shakes or protein shake is a great substitute. The meal replacement shakes that I use has a perfect combination and balance of protein, carbs and fats already in it; and it comes in 10 different flavors. Take a look here.
Do you want to know more of my weight loss secrets? Download the free e-book where I demystified all of the weight loss fads and myths; where I break down the truth and how to lose weight, confidently and effortlessly – even if you tried and failed every other diet. I
10 ways to destress your mind and body

10 ways to destress your mind and body

 Over the past couple months you may you may have felt stressed or overwhelmed in times of certainty. You may be really unsure what is happening now or what our next step is. It is more important and most important, right now, that you learn how to find and follow your own inner peace. Inner peace isn’t something anyone else can give you. You have to find it for yourself.
 It doesn’t come from the amount of money you have in your bank account, the amount status you have in your job or career, it doesn’t come from that you where you live or the kind of car you drive. None of those things really matter as much time right now.  What matters is your own sanity, how are you taking care of yourself, how your stress levels are.
There are things that you could do to help you find this inner peace, be at peace with who you are, where you are; no matter what is happening in the world around you.
I am sharing 10 different ways you can find your inner peace; you don’t have to do all of them, take what you want, leave what you don’t. I hope there’s something here for everybody. At times of uncertainty, it is so important to be able to ground yourself, be present in the moment, not stress yourself out or get yourself worked up about the future. The fact is we don’t know what the future holds and worry is a waste of energy.
The find inner peace, you must learn to love, accept and value yourself for who you are.
1. Notice the tension in your body
Tune into what is going on and we are you feeling this tension. It could be in your heart, your gut or your throat. Be mindful of where this tension is at and focusing in on the body; being present with your body can help you stay grounded.
2. Connect with beauty in nature
There is beauty all around us if we choose to focus on it. Take it in with a walk outside and you will notice all the beauty all around you from the birds chirping, to the grass growing. In the midst of all the chaos that is happening in our world, we can see that nature prevails. Everything happens in seasons, even when the winter comes, pruning happens and things grow stale; eventually spring and summer do you come back around and things start to  grow again.
3. Focusing on the present your present state
Your present body, your present state, focus on what you can control instead of what you can’t. What are some things you can work on? What are some things you can do? You can go outside and enjoy the beauty and the nature; if you have a roof over your head.  Maybe you can tackle some organizing projects in the home when you’re feeling stuck or anxious. Use your energy on things you can change, rather than letting the energy build up inside.
4. Move your body
Another way to get present in the here and now is to get into your body moving. A lot of times when we are not moving the energy in our body it can create feelings of depression.
Commit to moving your body every day, whether that’s going for a walk, doing a body weight workout or practicing some yoga and stretching. Being present in the body allows you to move the energy in your body instead of keeping it stuck and stagnant. This is a great time to focus in on your health and fitness, since we are being contained at home and a lot of things are not open. You may be frustrated that your routine and modern conveniences have been disrupted or altered. Use that emotion and passion and fire up your workouts and metabolism.

three beautiful friends authentic in urban contest listening to music

5  Dream or recall of happy times
In times of stress and chaos, sometimes it helps to just think back and remember some happier times and that will help bring the stress levels down. Dopamine is known as the happy hormone and you can activate this on your own with happy memories. Next time you are feeling down, try reminiscing with old photos, talking with a friend or journaling about a happier time in your life.
6. Clear your thoughts
Another thing you can do in your journal is to do a brain dump of everything you’re feeling. Get it out on paper and you will be surprised about how good this makes you feel. After doing this, you will feel like you had the best therapy session, even if you don’t regularly see a therapist. This is something you can do in the privacy of your home and no one actually has to read your journal; just the act of putting it out there will make you feel better.
7, Focus on gratitude
Start a gratitude journal. Every day when you wake up, start with 10 or 20 things that you are grateful for. Some ideas: your health, your body, your family, friends, food and shelter, your hobbies, passions, career. Gratitude can be the glue and the the key to getting everything you want. It can to take you from a state of panic or stress, to really getting present on all the good things you have in your life, and all the things you get to be grateful for. When you’re grateful for what you have, you have a better chance of more abundance coming back to you.
8. Disconnect from social media
Social media, right now, is a place where we can get updates and we can get the current news. However, along with this, you might be seeing things that don’t bring you peace, don’t bring you in your joy, don’t bring you calm, so don’t be afraid to break away for some mental self care. Having set times where you can break away are a good idea and I bet you won’t miss much. You can plan one day a week or maybe you set a time after 7 o’clock at night you’re not checking your social media. You can also give yourself 3 to 4 hours, when you first wake up of not checking social media. Having this quiet time where you’re not being bombarded with drama, news and chaos can do wonders for your mind. Being alone with your own thoughts can help clear your mind and allow you to process how you are feeling.
9. Focus on the good
This does go hand-in-hand with gratitude, but try focusing on all the good that is happening right now. It’s so easy when our routines are being disrupted, our lives are being disrupted; it’s so easy to get caught up in all of the bad that is taking place. What if you shifted your perspective and saw this as an opportunity to look at all the good things that are happening? Nature has been healing itself because there’s a less commute; there’s less pollution; people are staying at home more; families are being reconnected; parents who have been stressed out so much from working all the time are now getting to reconnect with their spouses and children; family meal time has returned. There’s so much more good that is happening then bad but if you are constantly chasing after the news and listening to the media, you probably won’t even notice. The media doesn’t make money reporting the good news; they make money to report the bad news.
10. Meditation
We already mentioned the importance of quiet time and being able to clear your mind. There are so many studies on the benefits of meditation. If you are not into meditation or have had trouble sitting still to meditate for 10 or 20 minutes; first of all you want to start small, for five minutes a day and work your way up. Actually, you don’t even have to sit at all. You could do this on a morning walk, during your yoga practice, while you’re stretching or even sitting on the porch with your morning tea or coffee.
7 Ways for Easier Meal Prep

7 Ways for Easier Meal Prep

Why do people choose fast food over preparing meals at home? Most people think they’re short on time. It’s certainly understandable, but when you have the right foods on hand, feeding your family healthier meals becomes less of a chore.
 
According to a report from the University of Washington, those who cook more at home have a diet that’s lower in calories, sugar, and fat. It’s also more economical than dining out. You will save an average of 200 calories per meal, as well as a cost savings.
Here are my favorite ways to move toward more homemade meals, even for busy families on the go:

Create a routine.

It doesn’t have to be “Taco Tuesday” and “Spaghetti Wednesday” every week, but sometimes guidelines can help cut down on decision paralysis. Designate a day or two for how you’ll eat, not necessarily what you’ll eat—like Meatless Mondays or having breakfast for dinner once a week.
A sample meal plan could be:
Monday – chicken, Tuesday – ground beef or turkey, Wednesday – leftovers, Thursday – pasta night, Friday – fish
Download the Smart Weekly Planner!

 

Compile a recipe stash.

Use a system that works for you, whether it’s ripping recipes from a magazine and putting them in a binder, or bookmarking them on your computer or smartphone, so you can retrieve them easily. I personally love Pinterest for this! Make sure you are following me!

 

Make a list, then shop once a week.

Pick a shopping day. Get input on your list from the family. Check to see if you’re low on your staples in the refrigerator, freezer, and pantry so that you don’t waste time chasing them down during the rest of the week, and so that you can throw together a quick soup, curry or pasta dish at a moment’s notice. When you get to the store, take a few minutes to read food labels to help you choose healthy foods that fit your family’s tastes and budget. Or even better, use an app like Instacart for grocery delivery. Not only do you save time, but you can avoid impulse buys! Save $10 on your first order.

 

Assign roles.

Maybe your spouse is great with a knife—he or she would be perfect on chopping duty. Little kids can mix and help measure. And some folks are best suited for cleanup duty. Give everyone a part they can do with little or no complaints. I know I could do better with this, but my kids do love to help in the kitchen! All your kids to help where they can and as they master a skill, let them try something new. My 10 year old loves to help cut veggies like broccoli or cauliflower. My 6 year old loves to mix and measure.

Think fast and easy.

How many times did you buy a whole spaghetti squash with the best of intentions, only to watch it rot slowly over time in the back of the bottom fridge drawer? Reach for shortcuts such as frozen veggies, pre-washed greens and pre-cooked or pre-seasoned meat to help cut down on cooking and prep time.

 

Prep once, cook twice.

If you know you’re going to use chopped onions, garlic and vegetables in more than one meal during the week, cut up everything at one time and store what you’re not using immediately in the fridge so you’ll have it on hand.

Make extra rice or quinoa and store whatever’s left for a future meal and freeze it. And cook extra protein for two meals – the extra fish you grill tonight can be used for tomorrow’s fish tacos.

 

Master some one-dish wonders.

Or some call them one pan meals. Cultivate meals that balance your proteins, vegetables, and starches all in one dish. Consider chili, soups, pasta dishes, and casseroles.

Shifting such a critical part of your life might not happen overnight, especially if it’s tough to get other family members on board, but if you start small and easy, you’ll build a foundation for your family that will only get better over time.
Need some healthy recipes? Grab my Top 10 Healthy {Kid Approved} Meals
27 Family Things to Do in Quarantine and Pralines Protein French Toast

27 Family Things to Do in Quarantine and Pralines Protein French Toast

Stuck inside for the quarantine? Snuggle up with some comfort food, your favorite books or plan a movie marathon.

Here in Ohio, our schools are closed, as are a lot of others around the country. Our life isn’t as much impacted, since we already homeschool and I work from home, but we know we are in the minority. So many families are being impacted by this coronavirus and the quarantine that is taking place.

Here’s to using your time off wisely.

  • Slow. Down.
  • Use this unplanned opportunity to truly be a family. No traveling. No constant digital entertainment.\
  • Cook together.
  • Eat together at the table every meal you can.
  • Take walks together to get fresh air.
  • Binge out on some movies you’ve not watched in a while.
  • Have a board game marathon.
  • Encourage an hour of reading while everyone reads their favorite books.
  • Then talk about them!
  • Maybe even read some stories together, no matter the age of your kiddos.
  • Go for a drive and play the license plate game or slug bug.
  • If weather permits, cook outside.
  • Make a campfire and enjoy a pre-summer marshmallow roast.
  • Tell ghost stories or funny stories.
  • Learn something new with your kids.
  • Get crafty.
  • Play the quiet game or the no blinking game.
  • LAUGH.
  • Play a game of three on three or HORSE.
  • Get out the chalk and have a hop scotch marathon.
  • Have your kids help you do some MAJOR spring cleaning.
  • Rearrange a room or two.
  • Spend an hour (at least) on the phone with someone you do not get to see often. Encourage your kiddos to do the same.
  • Stay up late.
  • Sleep in late.
  • Keep living life, but together.

While you are cooking together as a family, try out these Pralines Protein French Toast.

Here’s a secret to smoother egg batter. Add protein powder to the milk and shake before adding it to the eggs.

You will need:
4 Eggs
2-3 Scoops protein powder or healthy meal shake – we used Pralines and Cream 
2-3 tablespoons milk
Dash of cinnamon
8-10 slices of bread

Crack open the eggs and whip.
Add your favorite protein powder or formula 1 flavor to your milk and egg mix. .
Dip bread in egg mix and cook in a skillet or flat griddle.

Breakfast has gotten SO much easier since I inherited my late grandmother’s cast iron flat griddle! Lay it over two burners and cook as many as you need to! A must have for a family of 4 or more!! It is reversible, flat on one side and a grill on the other! 

We doubled the batch for our family of 5 and the kids loved them!!

 

Join in and hear from 10 expert speakers on how to create and transition to a healthier home. Click and subscribe so you don’t miss anything! 

How To Create Healthy Habits with a Solid Foundation

How To Create Healthy Habits with a Solid Foundation

Did you know there are 8 dimensions to wellness? A lot of us think about health as physical, but our health has so many more layers than that.

There were times in my life I became so focused on success, rank, promotion, I often neglected other parts of my life. .
I would become so focused on the external and wanting to look like I had it all together, people pleasing, and trying to keep up with “the Jones”.

This always leads to burnout. When you become so focused on doing things for others or the opinion of others, you neglect your own heart, emotions and well being.

In my 5 years as a wellness coach, I have learned there are 8 dimensions of wellness and they are all connected. You cannot focus on one whole neglecting the rest.

And often when you make improvements in one area, you also start improving other areas. Our physical health also affects our mental health. Our emotional health affects our social health.

This is why it’s important to reflect and take inventory of where we are out of balance. It’s important to set goals in each of these areas. If you are only looking at physical health and ignoring social health or emotional health, it could be why you aren’t really getting to the place you want.

It’s like a Kindergarten teacher that only does Math. Sure the kids will be great counters, but we need to be well balanced and need improvement in other areas, too.

5 steps to create healthy habits

1. Have the vision of the lifestyle you want. This may be the most important that lots of people skip. It’s not enough to set goals but really see how that goal fits into your vision.

2. Set the goal – it’s important to set both long term and short term goals. Lots of times our long term goal is so big, if we don’t break it into smaller goals, we often can’t believe it can happen. At the same time, if we set goals too small and hit it fast, we often stop there when we could keep going and go bigger.

3. Create a plan Knowing the plan and how you will get there is half the problem. It’s great to have a goal, but how will you get there.

4. Show up DAILY. Anything you want to change will require a change in something you do daily. What can you commit to?

5. Review, reflect and revise. If you didn’t hit your goal, let’s dig in and find out why. Get curious about why you aren’t where you want to be.

What healthy habits do you want to get better at? If you want to create a healthier home and lifestyle, I invite you to join me and other health experts at the Health Home Online Summit.

March 23-28, we have a variety of speakers from clean living to parenting and relationships. Every day, we will have a live interview for you to get all your questions answered. Register here.

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