Where are you feeling stressed and how are things in misaligned in your life and business? In December of 2019, I set some big goals and intentions for the new year and realized where my life and business was not in alignment for the things I wanted.
In 2019, we made tons of sacrifices and worked to the bone – but by work, I mean we put a lot of hours in, but it didn’t really result in us making more money. I can’t say it was all worth it. But we learned a ton!! We had a lot of misalignments and that isn’t a fun feeling. I set some pretty big intentions for 2020 and we even had a family vision board party – yes, even the kids made their own vision boards!
BIG LIFE LESSON: I’m here to tell you if you don’t put your own mask on, FIRST, no one is going to do it for you. Every month, we have a chance to reflect, reengage with our goals, access our actions and course correct to realign. I learned the hard way, if you don’t have margins and you don’t have time to sit in silence and really listen to your heart, you can’t really know if you are on the right track. As much as I’ve learned about reflection and setting new intentions every month, I became so busy trying to make everyone else happy, I couldn’t make myself happy and I couldn’t even hear (or I was ignoring them) the soft nudges that I was going the wrong way.
Are you growing closer to your goals or are you moving away from them?
How do you know if you are misaligned?
- Decling Health – last year, despite my best intentions of sticking a healthy eating and lifestyle plan, I gained weight. I knew when I was misaligned and overworked when I had zero time for workouts or meal prep. I found myself skipping meals, too tired for workouts and trying to fit in my workout at work. But even if I was eating well and working out, I wasn’t losing because I was so stressed.
- Pain in the Body – Mid way through the year, I started having joint pain, in my knees. Even worse yet, in December and through January, I had weekly headaches. These were migraines and lasted all day. Between these stress headaches and the regular stress and busyness of December, we ended up taking the whole month of December off of homeschool. Pain in the body is a manifestation of emotions or mental anguish.
- Chaos – When an area of life is spilling over and creating chaos in other areas. For example: a toxic relationship is causing you to miss work
- Dreading activities – more than normal procrastination. Dreading picking up the phone, going into work, avoiding certain people in your life or work can all indicate tension and a need of attention.
If your life IS in alignment, you will feel excited, happy and at peace.
My theme this year is play and we got 2020 to a great start!
First for New Year’s Eve, we took the kids to a hotel. Now, my husband is a bartender for his family’s restaurant and so many years, he usually works. A few weeks before New Year’s, we were reflecting that he hadn’t had a NYE off in about 4 years. We booked a last minute room at our local Holiday Inn. We swam, we bonded, hung out in the hot tub and crashed for the night, just after the ball dropped. Our kids, 10, 6 and 1 all had a blast and it was super fun to go somewhere that wasn’t home. I can’t wait to do it again!
Then, in January we headed to Kalahari Resorts for 2 days of fun! This was a part of the kids Christmas present and it did not disappoint!
We played had so much fun splashing around. It was just what we all needed after a super stressful year of busyness and not really seeing a lot of each other.
2020 is the year to nurture my inner child (Sagittarius moon) and be the present (Venus in Cancer), fun mom!! We bonded on water slides, roller coasters, in the hot tub and over late night ice cream! One thing I have neglected or tried to hide was my desire for travel and adventure. Even a couple days at an indoor waterpark left a spark on my soul in ways I didn’t even know it could. This year, I am vowing to take more trips, go on adventures and see more of the world outside of my hometown.
This is how misaligned I actually was. While on our trip at the water park, I got in my first workout in over 3 weeks and it felt SO GOOD!!! Yes, this is a really bad habit of mine and one I constantly have to remind myself that work is not more important than my body, my health, my family, my relationships. I love to work, but in 2020, I am learning to work in a new way and let my work fill my cup and delegate the things I really don’t like to do.
What happened as a result? In January, I walked away from some things and shifted how I was running my business. The headaches suddenly stopped, I started getting excited for work again and I feel more like myself, every day.
What are some ways you are bringing more fun and excitement into your life? What are things that HAVE to change?
I am doing FREE Clarity Calls right now to help you get clear on where you are misaligned in your work and life, so you can avoid burnout. Book Right Here
I’m sure you already know or you have heard it a thousand times! Anything you have in your life can be pointed back to the habits you have created.
Also – anything you want in your life can be achieved with the right habits.
When I first started working with a health coach, after my second baby, I wanted to lose 40 pounds. I thought I ate healthy, minimal processed foods, little to no fast food and hadn’t drank pop (or soda) in over 5 years. The first thing we worked on was my habits – actually, that was most of our work together.
A few simple shifts on meal timing, increasing water and incorporating workouts and I was astonished at the results. BUT something magical happened.
I had this total confidence and I felt unstoppable. I knew if creating a few simple habits could massively impact my health, I wondered what other kinds of transformation I could create in my life.
No matter what the goal you are working toward, finding the right habits can help you shift things. AND here is the really cool part – when you create results in one area, you create a domino effect in other areas.
Once I lost my initial 20 pounds, I had more energy to play with my kids. I felt hella confident and started dressing better, wearing makeup and my husband was taking notice.
Here are some habits that have helped me improve lasting results in my life.
Getting up early – preferably before the kids – and creating a consistent morning practice
As much as I love sleeping in, if I am not up a solid hour before my kids (especially the toddler) my whole day goes to shit. As Rachel Hollis says, you are already behind the eight ball. Getting up early allows me to have some alone time, have my morning tea and start journaling. It allows me to get my head right before I get bombarded with breakfast requests, someone not being able to find any socks or my toddler just clinging onto me, because I’m Mom.
Scheduling meals and workouts
Eating and workouts seemed so simple, before kids. As a homeschool mom, even more so. Fitting in my workouts and knowing when I’m eating is essential – or else the kids take over and my adgenda is no more. I prefer getting my workout in, first thing, so it is non-negotiable or else I’m sitting at gymnastics practice – wishing I was on a yoga mat. Mom guilt is SO real, but if I can get in all my important stuff than I can be more present to what my kids need.
Gratitude practice and journal
This is part of my morning routine but it deserves its own section. Gratitude is the grounding practice I never knew I needed. Gratitude is the glue that will hold you together when your world is falling apart, when there are buckets and baskets of chaos in every corner and when the laundry is piled up to the ceiling. Anytime I feel super stressed out or anxious, I come back to gratitude to anchor my heart on what matters most and it gives me perspective. It’s a fact you cannot be anxious and grateful at the same time.
Social media detox
Social media causes for anxiety these days than anything else. We use social media as a distraction mechanism. We go down a rabbit hole of comparisonitis, drama and feeling more disconnected than ever before. I like to delete social media from my phone on the weekend (especially the black hole of Facebook). I find myself feeling more peaceful and I can catch up on anything on Monday, if I need to. As an entrepreneur, our work never ends, there is always something to do and when you work online, the lines of work and personal time get blurred. This year, I am focusing on being intentional with my time and social media just hasn’t been giving me the connection or impact I want. It’s important to pay attention to your energy leaks.
Big Rock Jar – keep your priorities straight
This goes hand in hand with the last one. Knowing your priorities, having goals and a plan of action can help you decide where to spend your time and energy. Often we get in the habit of doing what everyone else is doing, but instead ask yourself what will get you the results you are after.
I know – easier said than done. Knowing what you should do and actually doing it takes discipline. But it gets easier. Once the habit is created, it takes much less mental energy to do it and eventually it comes natural and even automatic. These days, I wake up most mornings at 5:30am, without an alarm. CRAZY!!
Real Talk Now
Sometimes it’s not about the habits we have, but more about the habits we are avoiding. Change is uncomfortable. Transformation doesn’t come without blood, sweat and tears and doing the thing we don’t want to do.
While it’s great to create healthy habits, be more interested in the ones you are avoiding, sweeping under the rug and resisting like the ugly sweater grandma gave you at Christmas.
Until you are ready to sit with it, play with it and acknowledge it, it will always be the elephant in the room.
What new habits are you committed to in 2020?
As I look on the past decade, 10 years ago, in 2010, I’ve learned many life lessons. In 2010, I was a new mom of a special developmentally delayed boy (officially diagnosed with intellectual disability). We got married and was trying to be all the things we thought we should be, but was painfully aware we had no clue what we were doing.
The days of him not not crawling, not walking and not talking turned into weeks and even months of anticipation and wondering if I was doing something wrong. The criticisms from family and friends struck like a knife and led me down to a dark hall of depression, anxiety and self doubt.
Those were some of the most lonely days of my life. I used food and alcohol to numb the pain – only temporarily.
I put on a smile for everyone, but there were many nights I cried myself to sleep, after putting my son to bed.
If I could go back, I would give that new mom a hug and assure she was doing everything perfectly (we all are doing the best we can, with what we’ve got) and to trust her gut no matter what.
Some of the lessons I’ve learned in this decade, while transforming my health, my relationships and my lifestyle.
- Habits Matter
After having my son, I allowed my life be overcome with doctors appointments, therapy sessions and I ran my life on his schedule. Naturally, I became overweight, exhausted and hated everything in my closet. Anything you want to change in your life, anything that isn’t working and anything that is working – all come back to the habits we have in place. When I started on my weight loss journey in 2014, my coach had me look at my habits and how I could improve. Whether you want better health, more money or a cleaner house, it comes down to the habits you have in place or you don’t.
- Inner Talk is Powerful
Our success greatly relies on our self belief and the inner talk we give ourselves. As I learned to navigate this inner chatter from “I can’t do that” to “I will learn or I got this”, I found my power. Whether you are a new mom, starting a new workout routine or wondering if you can homeschool, this applies. The next time you set a goal or try something new, take inventory of the little voice inside and replace anything negative with empowering words and mantras.
- You are Stronger than you Think
You know the saying, you never know how strong something is until you put it in hot water. A true warrior shows just how strong they are when the going gets tough. As a special needs mom and advocate, I’ve had to stand in battles I never imagined. I’ve had to stand up to doctors, teachers, principals and I’ve also been called names, insulted on my parenting style and learned to take it all. Never underestimate the strength of a mother, fighting for her child.
- Love Wins
As things get hard, you hit rock bottom, you find yourself scraping yourself off the floor. Many times you want to cry, scream and give up but if you can anchor into love, you can get through anything. To love yourself is to love others, with compassion and giving grace. Keep in mind, everyone is doing the best they can with what they have. When you know better, you can do better.
- We All Need Each Other
It’s a lonely journey, as we muddle through life, motherhood, marriage and relationships. Things get muddy, cloudy and messy, but if we can find the strength to bind together, we can do more, be more and come out stronger. We need a tribe, we need human connection and we need vulnerability to know we are all in this together. Join the free facebook group here.
- Fear, Jealousy, Bitterness and Resentment are normal but unnecessary.
Fear is necessary to keep us safe. It exists and is there for the ride. But you don’t have to let it steer the car. Jealousy, bitterness and resentment also normal but the faster you can acknowledge it, release it and kick it out, the more peace and joy you will find. Forgiveness has been one my biggest lessons of this decade. We don’t forgive for the other person, it doesn’t excuse their behaviors, but it does free you from it hardening your heart.
- Follow Your Heart and Listen to Your Gut
It’s easy to get caught up in all the to-dos, checking the boxes, dotting your I’s. But if it doesn’t feel good, doesn’t light your fire, it is not for you. Listening to my inner knowing – even when everyone advised me differently – has always been the right thing and steered me closer to what is right for me.
- We Are All Unique
As you realize your own gifts, quirks and experiences, you will soon realize there is no one like you. Competition, jealousy and resentment cannot exist once you recognize you are so unique – no one can copy you – and you shouldn’t copy anyone else either. Speak your truth because only you can do it and say it like you can – and someone needs to hear it, exactly the way ONLY you can say it.
- Everyone is On Their Own Journey
Know everyone is on their own journey, in their own time and they will heal in their own way. We all experience things differently. Two people can go through the exact same experience and will perceive it differently. Not everyone will do it like you do, as fast or as slow as you. That is ok. Keep being a light so they know where to turn when they are looking for the right path.
- Try, Try Again
Get knocked down seven times, stand up eight. Things won’t be perfect and things won’t end up the way you envisioned. Keep going, keep trying and don’t let yourself get defeated.
This is my list of life lessons, things I’ve gone through and things I’ve grown through. I hope you are inspired and use this as inspiration to create your own list as you look back on the years.
Let’s connect more! Join the private Facebook group here.
Do you know the habits of highly successful people? They say the most successful people, the self made millionaires, have a similar set of habits to help them get to where they are.
We are in eclipse season and I will not lie – the first half of the year has been challenging, for me. But we still have 6 months left. So if you haven’t hit your goal, yet, no worries! There is still time.
I am a big goal setter. So I always have goals in health, in money, in relationships … And so today, we are going to be talking about habits. And so this applies no matter what your goals are.
These habits are from Tom Corley’s book, “Change Your Habits, Change Your Life”. These are some of the habits that I’ve been able to instill in my life and what’s enabled me to change my life over the past five years.
If you are not familiar with my story, five years ago I hit my rock bottom. I was so frustrated with where my life was. Physically, financially, relational. Just everything. I was married with two kids, and I was very low-confidence. I wasn’t even sure if my marriage was going to make it. I was overweight, going nowhere in my business and we were barely getting by, financially.
I had a come-to-Jesus moment with myself. Something has to change and I knew it started with the man in the mirror. If you are in hard times, look in the mirror and ask yourself how you can be better.
I started with my health because I knew my weight was affecting my confidence; which was affecting my career goals, my financial goals, my relationships. First step was to lose the baby weight I was holding onto. You can read more about me here.
My physical health catapulted me into all the other areas of my life. That’s why I’m so passionate about health and fitness because it can really be like the gateway drug of changing your life.
So what are these success habits?
The Early Bird Gets The Worm
50% of self-made millionaires get up at least three hours before their work day. Three hours before their day actually starts. They’re getting up. Getting started with their day. Tom Corley says, “If you could get three things done before you even start your workday, you’re going to feel like a badass”, right? And so that’s just going to give you more confidence and more energy and more zest to get other stuff done.
What time do you get up? Do you get up 15 minutes before you need to leave? Or are you getting up and prepping your mind, prepping your day, looking over your schedule? What does your morning look like? Hello! Thanks for joining. We’re talking about the habits of successful people and so getting up early. I was just … I have been getting up at 5:00. Sometimes 4:30 in the morning. Like on auto-pilot. My body is just used to it now. We are creatures of habit, so create the habit of getting up early.
Readers are Leaders
The average entrepreneur reads 24 books in a year. The average non-entrepreneur reads … actually, they don’t … they read an average of five books after high school throughout their whole life. After high school, throughout their whole adult life, they’ll read about five books. Warren Buffet says this is his most important habit that he’s created for himself, is just reading and reading and learning from other successful people.
Some of the books I have read this year
Climb Your Own Ladder
She Means Business
Rock Your Network Marketing Business
Secret Strategies to Earn A lot Of Money….
Girl, Wash Your Face
Girl, Stop Apologizing
Spend Time In Reflection
Every day, spending 15 to 20 minutes of assessing where you are in your life and how all the pieces are fitting for you. What are you happy with? What are you not happy with? And this has been a really key part of my own transformation is just having that bird’s eye view of, okay this is going good, but this isn’t going good. And where do I need to shift my energy? What do I need to focus on? And to get where I want to go. Having that silent time. Having that quiet time. Alone time. And just being alone with your thoughts and figuring out. Just spending time in reflection, whether you’re reflecting on your day, you’re reflecting on your week, the month, or even like last year.
We’re in the middle of 2019, so have you reflected on what went well, so far? What didn’t? Do you need to pivot? Download my Life In Harmony Planner here
Make Exercise a Priority
A lot of successful people say that one of their priorities is getting exercise. Exercise helps you get more energy, helps you feel more successful, like you already got something accomplished in the day, and making health a priority. Because your success isn’t going to last very long if you’re not healthy. And if you don’t have the energy to get through your day, you may not be very productive. You can get started with healthy eating and body weight workouts.
Being Around People That Inspire You
You know what they say, birds of a feather flock together. So if you want to be successful, hang around successful people. And if you are hanging around people that don’t inspire you, it can really bring you down. It can bring your energy down and can help you kind of feel deflated. You will pick up the energy of those around you. But if you hang around other people that are successful, more successful than you, they will give you the energy you need and they’ll give you the motivation and they’ll encourage you to actually go after your goals. Who are the 5 people you spend the most time with?
Pursue Your Own Goals
Sometimes we can get in this habit of watching what everyone else is doing and doing that but having your own goals and climbing your own ladder, you can choose, are you going to climb someone else’s ladder? Or are you going to climb your own? And working for someone else, sometimes we can get into that rat race of doing what someone else wants us to do and then by the time we’re 40, 50 years old, we realize we never actually did anything on our own goal list. When was the last time you wrote out your goal list? Sit down and write out your top 10 goals.
Get Enough Sleep
As someone who suffered from fatigue and suffered from adrenal fatigue, sleep is so important to me. I have a strict bedtime. I never go to bed past 11:00, but really 9:00 or 10:00 is when I like to go to bed. I will make an exception like once a week, if we have a team call, if I have a mentor call late. I’m in bed usually shortly after my kids go to bed or I end up falling asleep with them, even if I don’t intend to. And referring back to habit #1, if you are getting up early, you need to be getting to bed at a decent time.
The successful people that were interviewed sleep an average of 10 hours. So how much sleep are you getting? Because if you don’t have sleep, then you’re not going to have energy, and you’re not going to want to do anything. So, making sleep a priority.
Have Multiple Streams of Income
They’re not putting all their eggs in one basket, but having multiple ways that they are making money. How many ways do you have to make money? What happens if one of them runs dry? Ways to earn cash:
Helping people around their house
There are so many ways to earn extra income: Uber, Lyft, Network Marketing, Affiliate Marketing
Free Download on Making Money From Home
Avoid Time Wasters
A filter of mine, it’s been mine for a long time and anyone who’s close to me can tell you this, I have a filter. A lot of people, they tag me in stuff. They want me to watch videos. They want me to do this.
I ask myself: And is it helping me in some way? Is it helping me advance my own life? Is it bringing me joy? Is it making me money? Those are my three filters. If the answer is no for all of them, I may not watch it. I don’t watch a lot of TV. Occasionally we’ll go to the movies. Facebook and Instagram scrolling is modern day TV. I want to use my time wisely. And so having that filter. Avoiding the time wasters. Avoiding tire kickers. What do you waste your time on? Could you use it more effectively to hit one of your goals?
I’ve learned how to save time, delegate more and ask for more help.
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