In times of chaos, it is never been more important than now to have a self care plan or routine to keep you grounded, present and have an outlet for you to reflect, process emotions and feel safe in this world. At times like these, it can be easy to stay in our head, get dragged down by the media and others and be reacting in fear. Grab the At Home Essential Guide to Self Care
Last week, I noticed an old pattern coming up. If you have been following me for awhile, you know there was a time I struggled with depression and emotional eating.
In 2008, I was pregnant with our first baby. My husband had made some changes to his work schedule. He went from working Monday – Friday 10am-5pm and home every night and every weekend, to switching to some evenings and weekend hours. As I got home from work around dinner time, I now spent most of my time alone, only with my 3 year old golden retriever. And now as I was pregnant, I no longer got calls and invitations from all my single girlfriends – like I did when I was single. I have never felt more alone than in those times.
There were nights I cried myself to sleep. There were nights I clenched onto my golden retriever, sobbing uncontrollably, as he was the only thing closest to human connection I had during that time.
As time went on, I learned to deal with it. I won’t say things got better because as a new mom, with a child with developmental delays, the things I had once in common with others were slowly dwindling. I didn’t feel like I belonged to the traditional moms groups and my old friends were still partying their asses off at the bar. But I was starting to get settled into our new normal.
Fast forward a few years, I found myself all alone again, after I had put our son to bed by 8pm. After dark, the hours were filled with Grey’s Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, as I downed a bottle of my favorite red wine and binged on an entire box of oreos. I even resorted to hiding the empty containers from my husband, because I knew he would be ashamed and I would be humiliated.
In March, as our social distancing escalated and the world was shifting to the #athome model, my husbands hours changed again. As he took on more evening and weekend shifts, to meet the demands of the new carryout model, and myself and now 3 kids are now spending our evenings without him around. As much as I am grateful for him to still have a job, at this time, and for the income it provides us, that doesn’t change the emotional state or deep wounds it can bring up.
The past few years, I have learned how to process my emotions, I have learned how to look deep under the surface and understand many of our patterns are not conscious – but the subconscious mind holds so much power behind our thoughts and actions.
As I was started to sit with this new awareness and recognize old patterns coming up, I recognized these feelings of loneliness stemming from my childhood.
If you have feelings of trauma or deep unsettled emotions, it is important to ground yourself in these routines.
You can also get these and many more in my At Home Essential Guide to Self Care